What does the wedding party actually do?
The honor attendant is usually a close friend or family member who not only organizes and hosts a shower for the bride, but also helps her get ready on the wedding day. She wears a
wedding dress that she usually pays for, which matches or coordinates with the other bridesmaids, and she sometimes carries a slightly more elaborate bouquet than the other attendants.
The bridesmaids are select friends and family, who are usually about the same age of the bride. They attend pre-wedding parties and also help out with some wedding preparations. They wear matching or coordinating
bridesmaid dresses (usually paid for themselves) to the ceremony and are customarily given a gift by the bride as a token of appreciation.
The best man is often the groom's best friend or a close family member. His formalwear matches the ushers' and he pays the rental fees himself. He hosts the bachelor party, holds the ring during the ceremony and leads the other men in the well-wishing.
Ushers are also close in age to the groom. They are usually chosen by the groom, and their primary function is seating guests at the wedding. They each wear and pay for matching formalwear, and the groom usually gives each man a present as a thank-you for participating in the wedding.
Children between the ages of 9 and 14 are best suited for the duties of candlelighters, junior bridesmaids or junior ushers. These attendants wear coordinating dresses or formalwear. Flower girls are usually family members, or a friend's child between the ages of three and nine, and they carry a small bouquet or basket down the aisle in the ceremony. The ring bearer is often a boy, but the duty can certainly be carried out by a little girl as well. Boys under age four wear an Eton suit or may be dressed in a similar fashion to the ushers. Parents pay for their children's attire when asked to be in a wedding, unless otherwise notified by the bride or groom.
One of my bridesmaids just found out she is pregnant. She'll be seven months along at my wedding. Should I worry about finding another dress for her, or should she figure something out?
If the
bridesmaid dresses uk you selected can be adapted (a kinder word for "enlarged") for your pregnant pal, go for it. If that's too hard, how about having her wear a maternity dress in the same color, or a close approximation? If you insist on approving the dress beforehand, you can make this a fun project for the two of you. Have pillow, will shop
Maternity Bridesmaid Dresses .
I would like each of my bridesmaids to wear a different color, but I don't want them to clash. How can I make this work? What should I do about flowers? The groomsmen?
The key to pulling off a multicolored bridal party is unity, meaning your bridesmaids should all wear dresses made of the same material in a similar tone. If you're opting for jewel colors, choose shades like emerald green, sapphire blue and plum—all of which look good together. If pastels are your passion, try dusty rose, pale gray and sage. Flowers should coordinate with each dress, meaning each bouquet should be a different color. But unless you want your party to look like a dance troupe, don't play mix-and-match with the guys. Have them go with a uniform look—navy suits, black tuxedos or white tie.
My guy is equally close to his two friends. Who should be his best man?
It's perfectly fine for your fiancé to have two people stand up for him. His friends can split the best man duties and even do a tag-team toast.
One of my bridesmaids doesn't seem enthusiastic about my wedding. Should I ask her to quit the party?
No. This is your wedding, not a political primary. And besides, once you've asked someone to be an attendant, you can't un-ask her. Consider why your friend isn't jumping for joy regarding your wedding. Is she busy with school? Working long hours? Raising a family? Even though the wedding is likely the most important thing in your life right now, it's probably not in hers. So get a little perspective. If being busy isn't the reason for her aloofness, could she be jealous? If that's the case, go easy on her and don't dominate your time together with talk of flower palettes and china patterns.
I have three best friends, two of whom are married. Can I have one maid of honor and two matrons of honor? Does that mean my fiancé would need to have more than one best man?
Yes to the first question; you may have one maid of honor and two matrons. So you have more BFFs than your fiancé? No big deal. Most women have more close friends than men do, because we're better at managing friendships. (It's also why we live longer, but I digress.) Your husband-to-be should only stand with men he feels close to: his brother(s)? His college roommate? Not the guy who delivers his nightly pizza. (As a nice gesture of inclusion, many grooms ask their fathers to "attend" them, since they're not "giving away" anyone as the bride's father often does.) Your fiancé can call them all "best men" or "groomsmen," whichever he prefers. These days, just as we don't always match our shoes to our bags (to say nothing of hats and gloves), your combined wedding party does not have to be 100 percent symmetrical. What matters most is that you include all those you'd like to be a part of your ceremony and that you enjoy your big day.
I love my three bridesmaids—do I have to pick a maid of honor? How would I explain that without upsetting the other two? Would the lack of hierarchy mean that no one would feel obligated to plan my bachelorette party? I want them to work together and be able to save money.
What a good problem to have! No, you do not have to choose a favorite amongst your besties. I can't think of a single reason they would be upset; the contrary should be true. But lest you think I'm all Pollyanna, I blame reality TV for amping up the competition in relationships. No one will get voted off the island; no one will be sent home without a rose. Tell your BFFs exactly what you've told us and enjoy yourselves.
Do I need to ask my fiancé's sisters to be bridesmaids? Should he invite my brothers to be groomsmen?
Including future in-laws in the wedding party is always a good idea. After all, they're soon-to-be family and snubbing them could start you off on the wrong foot. However, depending on the wedding-party size you were envisioning, you might need to rethink asking other family members or friends to be your best guys and gals. If size doesn't matter to you (ahem), then ask away. But, if you're set on keeping your wedding party on the smaller side, fear not. There are several other important ways you can include loved ones in your big day. You might want to ask them to escort your grandparents down the aisle, pass out the wedding programs, do a reading during the ceremony, or man the guest-book table. Also, regardless of the role these special folks end up playing, make sure you've given them corsages and boutonnieres to wear on the big day to denote their VIP status.
